come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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