She's JV to your varsity
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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