Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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