It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
