I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
