we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
