Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
