I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
