There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
