Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
