Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
