He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
