no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
