I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
