Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
