u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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