even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
