I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize