Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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