You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
How's work?
Spinning.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
