My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
What drink are we having for lunch?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
