PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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