So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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