I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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