Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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