meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he was CRYING into my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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