Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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