After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
