when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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