Kiss
Puke
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
