Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
