I love black thongs
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
