WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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