OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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