I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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