YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
