Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
