Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
