either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize