girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
