Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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