She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
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either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
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I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
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