He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
