So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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