You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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