Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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