This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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