the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
