wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
