And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
