would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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