just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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