ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
