still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
