babies were throwing up all over the place
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Four minutes until I can fart!
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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