I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
