THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
