He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
