i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
