That's intense
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
