I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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