i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
