I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
