Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
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And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
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Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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