So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize